Take a deep breath and tell yourself to relax. Try to identify the emotion you are feeling.
Take a time out to stop the fight and contain damage. Take three deep breaths and count to 20. If you still feel angry, ask the other person if you can meet to talk about it later.
Say: "Help me understand your concern." Gather some information to help you empathize and see their point of view, even if you don't agree with it Listen carefully and make eye contact. Be sure to not interrupt.
Ask: "How can we resolve this?" This moves the conflict to a solution focus instead of an emotional focus.
Ask: "Would this work for you?"
Make sure to keep your part of the agreement to build trust and respect.
Special thanks to Lisa Laird, MA, Snow College for this information.
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