Trauma and abuse take many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological. In addition, it applies to past and present events. People who have experienced abuse or who currently find themselves in abusive situations develop self-harming patterns of behavior. Sometimes, college students were victims of abuse during childhood and developed patterns of behavior in order to survive their abuse environments. It is when that environment changes (coming to college) that these behavior patterns create conflict and life difficulty. It is beneficial that these students come to terms with their abuse, grieve their abuse, and then replace past behavior with more productive patterns for living.
There is really no definitive DO and DON'T list for abuse. The best approach for yourself or a friend is not to ignore the abuse, even if it is a present situation. Abuse and its effects are not things a person can just ignore or forget about. Seek professional help. If needed, seek it together in order to provide additional support for recovery.
Remember, there is no glory in being a victim all your life. No one needs to be a victim. Bad things happen to all people; however, it is a person's choice to let that determine or not determine the outcome of their existence.